I struggled with my next topics and had to take a deeper look inside to question my parenting methods. I truly believe we are creating lazy kids because we were deprived as children. Most people say that we were never deprived as kids because we went on family vacation, dad would buy us anything we wanted if we brought home good grades and we ate out on a regular basis. But I felt we were deprived because were not allowed to do a lot of things our American friends were allowed. I had questioned my parenting skills and said they were too strict and I would never be that strict when I have kids. I am not sure if they were wrong anymore and I may need to implement some of their methods.
While I have limited my kids X-Box time to four hours on the weekend, I allow unlimited TV until bed time, I tell them good job when they bring home good grades but do not pressure them for perfect scores. My idea of of reward is extra time on X-Box, eating out or buy them items because I feel other kids have them. I tell myself I am teaching them responsibility by forcing them to clean their room on Saturday morning and putting away their laundry (which ends up in the hamper when they get too lazy or in a rush to finish). My husbands believes that they are still young for house choirs and they will learn on when they grow up. My kids come home and drop their coats, bag by the front door or on the steps and we step over it. At the end of the night, I am washing 10 water glasses (there are only four people who live here and only one person who drinks every 5 minutes!), a sink full of dirty dishes, picking up endless wet towels of the floor, cleaning dried toothpaste off the sink and on and on and on!!
This week I had enough! At 8 years old, my sister and I had taken turns cooking full dinners for the family, washing all the dishes (no dishware in my house), clean my room every morning (my mom and sister may argue with this point but I am counting they maybe too busy to read this). The kitchen was spotless cleaned before we went to bed. We were expected to bring home honor rolls every report card. We did not have any games or even cable. We had one TV and had to wait till Saturday morning to watch cartoons (I did fight for Wonder Woman, Knight Rider and The Six Million Dollar Man). If dad or mom wanted to watch TV, we had to give up our show and find another activity. We were never allowed to participate in after school activities (one time in 5th grade, I didn't tell anyone and tried out for cheerleading but had to quit because practice lasted after 4:30), we could not attend parties or have sleepovers. My poor friend Karen lived in my house because I was not allowed to be at her house. So with that said, I would conclude that my mom did a moderate version of what Amy Chua described as Tiger Mom. I contribute our success to how she raised us. On the flip side, I would also contribute how the five us are always stressed because we are control freaks who would rather do it all then have less then perfect outcomes from our kids and partners.
Some of the most successful people I know in my circle were raised by very strict parents (some as strict as Amy Chua and other like my mom a moderate version of Amy Chua). In today's age of "talking"and "let them be children" in my opinion is creating some very lazy kids who will expect their mom's to fill out their college applications and help them get a job.
The first time I had asked Sami to do dishes, my husband said boys do not do dishes in our home. You can assume that conversation did not go very well that night. What he does not know is that I HATE doing dishes and always did. If I did not have a dishwasher we may have to live on paper plates (another pet peeve).
On Sunday I put my foot down and called a family meeting (yes I am a "talking" mom) and implemented some House Rules. The first two nights were filled with tears, screaming matches and some very hurtful comments " I am the worst mom" and "no one else makes their kids do house work" and my favorite "your a mom, this is your job, why are you making us do it".
God give me strength because I believe with this, I hope to create a solid foundation for my kids to be independent and have some sort of responsibility.
While I have limited my kids X-Box time to four hours on the weekend, I allow unlimited TV until bed time, I tell them good job when they bring home good grades but do not pressure them for perfect scores. My idea of of reward is extra time on X-Box, eating out or buy them items because I feel other kids have them. I tell myself I am teaching them responsibility by forcing them to clean their room on Saturday morning and putting away their laundry (which ends up in the hamper when they get too lazy or in a rush to finish). My husbands believes that they are still young for house choirs and they will learn on when they grow up. My kids come home and drop their coats, bag by the front door or on the steps and we step over it. At the end of the night, I am washing 10 water glasses (there are only four people who live here and only one person who drinks every 5 minutes!), a sink full of dirty dishes, picking up endless wet towels of the floor, cleaning dried toothpaste off the sink and on and on and on!!
This week I had enough! At 8 years old, my sister and I had taken turns cooking full dinners for the family, washing all the dishes (no dishware in my house), clean my room every morning (my mom and sister may argue with this point but I am counting they maybe too busy to read this). The kitchen was spotless cleaned before we went to bed. We were expected to bring home honor rolls every report card. We did not have any games or even cable. We had one TV and had to wait till Saturday morning to watch cartoons (I did fight for Wonder Woman, Knight Rider and The Six Million Dollar Man). If dad or mom wanted to watch TV, we had to give up our show and find another activity. We were never allowed to participate in after school activities (one time in 5th grade, I didn't tell anyone and tried out for cheerleading but had to quit because practice lasted after 4:30), we could not attend parties or have sleepovers. My poor friend Karen lived in my house because I was not allowed to be at her house. So with that said, I would conclude that my mom did a moderate version of what Amy Chua described as Tiger Mom. I contribute our success to how she raised us. On the flip side, I would also contribute how the five us are always stressed because we are control freaks who would rather do it all then have less then perfect outcomes from our kids and partners.
Some of the most successful people I know in my circle were raised by very strict parents (some as strict as Amy Chua and other like my mom a moderate version of Amy Chua). In today's age of "talking"and "let them be children" in my opinion is creating some very lazy kids who will expect their mom's to fill out their college applications and help them get a job.
The first time I had asked Sami to do dishes, my husband said boys do not do dishes in our home. You can assume that conversation did not go very well that night. What he does not know is that I HATE doing dishes and always did. If I did not have a dishwasher we may have to live on paper plates (another pet peeve).
God give me strength because I believe with this, I hope to create a solid foundation for my kids to be independent and have some sort of responsibility.
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